NZ Herald: Why are mother-daughter relationships so complex?

The mother-daughter relationship is especially complex: being mothered well, as with much of the roll of the dice in life, is a bit of a lottery. Some of us get lucky and some of us don’t. The myths and taboos about “dissing”, or naming difficulties with our mothers, only serve to isolate those women who have not been the beneficiaries … Read More

NZ Herald: The double bind

I can still vividly recall the searing sense of perplexed injustice, and lack of power, when my older cousin, aged 6, told me one Christmas, as I looked hopefully at his box of chocolates, “Ask, don’t get; don’t ask, don’t want”. Most of us have times when we find ourselves in what feels like the most impossible of situations, and … Read More

NZ Herald: The truth about people-pleasers

It is as true of life as it is of fiction: Nothing moves forward except through conflict. Or, to put it another way, conflict is the precursor to change. So the deal seems to be that if we want change, or if indeed change is upon us, conflict will be in the mix. As difficult as it is for any … Read More

NZ Herald: 60 minutes saga: The emotional toll on mother

We have heard in the past days that the child abduction charges in Beirut have been dropped against Brisbane mother, Sally Faulkner. In return she has given the father of her children, Ali Elamine, full custody rights to 5-year-old Lahela and 3-year-old Noah. The child abduction saga has spanned two weeks, and highlighted issues ranging from the difficulties Lebanese women … Read More

NZ Herald: When friends and family don’t like your partner

We all tend to seek social approval – even if we say we don’t. A career change, a new house, or the purchase of that rather expensive pair of shoes; it’s nice when our friends and family approve of our “heart stopping” decisions. But it pales into insignificance when the people we love, friends and family, actively disapprove of our … Read More

NZ Herald: Madonna caught in teen’s worst nightmare

What has been termed “Madonna’s bitter custody battle” regarding her 15-year-old son, Rocco, sounds like every teenage boy’s worst nightmare. No one ever said these type of conflicts are anything but excruciatingly painful for all caught up in them: Parents, children, siblings, grandparents. The intense emotion typically dissipates over time, but usually creates a lasting and significant impact for the … Read More

Radio Live: How Best to get your Kids to ‘Unplug’

A recent UK poll shows parents are struggling to get their kids off their computers, tablets and phones. Counsellor and family mediator Jill Goldson discusses how to get kids off their devices on Radio Live with Tony Murrell.

Sunday Star Times: Smartphones – changing how we fall in love

For two and a half decades Jill Goldson has been picking through the dramas of the families and couples who come to her for help. Over that time the Auckland counsellor and family mediator has identified four issues that come up again and again as a source of relationship friction: money, sex, parenting styles and the inlaws. But very recently, … Read More