Radio Live: How Best to get your Kids to ‘Unplug’

A recent UK poll shows parents are struggling to get their kids off their computers, tablets and phones. Counsellor and family mediator Jill Goldson discusses how to get kids off their devices on Radio Live with Tony Murrell.

Sunday Star Times: Smartphones – changing how we fall in love

For two and a half decades Jill Goldson has been picking through the dramas of the families and couples who come to her for help. Over that time the Auckland counsellor and family mediator has identified four issues that come up again and again as a source of relationship friction: money, sex, parenting styles and the inlaws. But very recently, … Read More

NZ Herald: How to host a Christmas Grinch

One of my clients recently described this season as a “white knuckled Christmas” for her – recently separated and struggling to manage her sadness, this is not a new story. All those cheery songs and festive parties can certainly stir up the feelings when you are newly separated, bereaved, undergoing strife or plain old loneliness. Even when we know that … Read More

NZ Herald: Christmas, a time for jealousy?

Just as we are downing tools in readiness for the typical holiday pursuits of relaxing, eating, drinking and hopefully making merry, an unbidden thought or two can sneak in. A young female client of mine recently said: “I feel sick and even angry as I watch friends plan lavish holiday celebrations and pack up for their baches. I never let … Read More

NZ Herald: When party season freaks you out

“Tis the season to be jolly” indeed, but what happens when you have to be jolly and you are terribly shy? Like my client Tilly* who speaks of her dread, not just of the looming office parties, but also of her reaction to the invitation from her new partner to his family Christmas party. “I can’t bear it,” she said, … Read More

NZ Herald: Give Peace A Chance!

In case it slipped past you, International Day of Peace was on Monday. Established in 1981 by the United Nations the day is commemorated by education and public awareness on issues related to peace. The New Zealand Human Rights blog suggested we mark the day in our homes and communities and asked “who will you make peace with?” With all … Read More

NZ Herald: 7 tips for co-parenting

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have brunch with their kids every Sunday even though the celebrity couple have split. Every so often, snippets of celebrity advice carry some nuggets of value, and there is no doubt that Paltrow sets a good example here. Quite simply, children who have parents who are separated but cooperative will do better than those whose … Read More

NZ Herald: Ignore stray-at-home dad propaganda

You may have read an alarming article warning women about the “stray-at-home-dad” effect. Househusbands, it asserted, are more likely to have affairs because “engaging in infidelity may be a way of re-establishing threatened masculinity”. And because, according to Dr Helen Fisher: “The type of man who chooses to stay at home is biologically wired to have an affair… he will, … Read More

New Years Thoughts

What makes us happy is always a popular topic at this time of year and of course underpins all those New Years resolutions we traditionally make. A recent New Zealand survey (Grouse and Jose, Victoria University, Wellington) demonstrates that the majority of those surveyed considered family the most important reason to live. Relationships with friends and colleagues came next – … Read More