NZ Herald: Seven warning signs you’re in a dangerous relationship

Unfortunately, it’s not news to any of us that the track record of domestic violence in this country is appalling. A Ministry of Justice document released just this month indicates New Zealand has one of the highest reported rates of intimate partner violence in the developed world. Last year police attended over 100,000 family violence incidents. On average, a family … Read More

NZ Herald: Why men and women deal differently with being dumped

Why do breakups feel so uniquely and universally hideous? They make you question yourself and your ability to maintain a relationship. You grieve the loss of the person who – until now – was the closest to you. It is, at least initially, a bleak space to be. Recently, social research was revealed about the way men and women deal … Read More

NZ Herald: 7 tips for co-parenting

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have brunch with their kids every Sunday even though the celebrity couple have split. Every so often, snippets of celebrity advice carry some nuggets of value, and there is no doubt that Paltrow sets a good example here. Quite simply, children who have parents who are separated but cooperative will do better than those whose … Read More

NZ Herald: Ignore stray-at-home dad propaganda

You may have read an alarming article warning women about the “stray-at-home-dad” effect. Househusbands, it asserted, are more likely to have affairs because “engaging in infidelity may be a way of re-establishing threatened masculinity”. And because, according to Dr Helen Fisher: “The type of man who chooses to stay at home is biologically wired to have an affair… he will, … Read More

NZ Herald: Do you listen to your inner bully?

The strength of naming our vulnerability “I’ll never find anyone”, “I always look frumpy”, “I’m just not good enough” – and on it goes. Most of us are familiar with the inner critic – some days “inner bully” is a better name for the voice upstairs. We all have bad days and whether we can self soothe and regulate that … Read More

NZ Herald: Does he compare me to his ex?

A recent email to me from a young woman confided that she is driven crazy by intrusive thoughts of her partner’s ex and how she believes he must be comparing her. She went on to say that not only had she met his ex – and found her to be beautiful and accomplished – but that also at the start … Read More

NZ Herald: The one thing that could transform your relationship

When the going gets tough with our partner, one may want to try counseling. But quite possibly our significant other will shrink away from anything that could be seen as therapy, creating another disagreement. What happens when you know you love your partner but circumstances seem to be conspiring against you? All that dredging up from the past, all those … Read More

Not therapy per se, but a dispute resolution with a therapeutic outcome

When the going gets tough with our partner, one of us might want to try counselling but quite possibly our significant other will shrink away from anything that could be seen as therapy. Creating yet  another disagreement. What happens when you know you love your partner but circumstances seem to be conspiring against you? All that dredging up from the … Read More

NZ Herald: How to deal with passive aggressive people

The angry smile, the quiet attack – we all know the personality type. But it takes a while – and often many sleepless nights – to work out that we have one in our midst. This individual might be a partner, a romantic interest, a social contact, a colleague, family member or friend – or maybe even ourselves. Often described … Read More

NZ Herald: How to get over heartbreak

So we’ve got through Valentines Day – a lot of my clients talk about the emotions this day triggers for them. Whilst it is the second most popular card sending day after Christmas – and many see it for the commercial rort it likely is, – the newly heartbroken may be excused for feeling that on that day Cupid threw … Read More