My sister-in-law is driving me crazy with her endless need to talk about herself. I am starting to feel like I don’t even exist when I have to relate to her and I am starting to feel very resentful that my life is apparently of no interest at all to her.
I think many of us have been through an unenviable encounter with a self absorbed person – and if they are work mates – or more difficult still, family members, it can be tricky territory to navigate.
Often at the beginning it can be fun with someone like your new sister-in-law. This personality type can be charismatic and entertaining, especially when you first meet. Initially they will radiate a brightness and confidence which is often very alluring – and the feeling they see you as a confidante can be affirming, until it suddenly starts to dawn on you that actually you are on a one way communication street. The flipside of the personality of the self absorbed companion suddenly comes to light – and what you initially saw as charisma translates into a breathtaking over confidence, sense of entitlement and lack of empathy.
Individuals who have this self absorption – sometimes termed narcissistic personality – very rarely think they have a problem and their primary focus tends to be a struggle to preserve their veneer. Whilst the self absorbed person can have moments of generosity and charm – for the most part they will be unaware of your needs and uninterested in meeting them even if they are aware.