NZ Herald: The truth about people-pleasers


It is as true of life as it is of fiction: Nothing moves forward except through conflict. Or, to put it another way, conflict is the precursor to change.

So the deal seems to be that if we want change, or if indeed change is upon us, conflict will be in the mix. As difficult as it is for any of us to deal with conflict the pain for the people-pleaser can be excruciating.

People-pleasers have often endured a white-knuckle ride through life. Children who come from families where some of their significant attachment needs were not met, either because of parental ill health or dysfunction, learn to survive by being overly vigilant of the needs of others. And commensurately ignorant of their own needs.

Read the remainder of the article on the NZ Herald website

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