The angry smile, the quiet attack – we all know the personality type. But it takes a while – and often many sleepless nights – to work out that we have one in our midst.
This individual might be a partner, a romantic interest, a social contact, a colleague, family member or friend – or maybe even ourselves.
Often described as “crazy makers”, the passive aggressive personality can leave us feeling feeling frustrated, deflated and utterly confused.
So you know your partner is bored and frustrated – but when you ask her what’s up she refuses to admit to the feeling. Or even discuss it. And whilst your father doesn’t actually criticise you – he never, ever says how well you do. Your co-worker is always late – or sick the day before a public holiday and makes your work life stressful – and your boss just keeps forgetting to talk to management about your complaints about the erratic printer. And what about the friend who needs to tell you that your exuberance at her party caused another friend to criticise you.
Or maybe you have just moved heaven and earth to find a way to have a happy weekend with your partner’s family – and as she leaves, his mother says quietly to you “We know how busy you are but our visits to you are just so rare”.
Actions speak louder than words and despite what is being said – or more likely not said – if you are seeing behaviours of forgetfulness, blaming, withholding, being the innocent victim and endless procrastination, then these are signs that you might just be trying to relate to a passive aggressive.