The strength of naming our vulnerability
“I’ll never find anyone”, “I always look frumpy”, “I’m just not good enough” – and on it goes. Most of us are familiar with the inner critic – some days “inner bully” is a better name for the voice upstairs. We all have bad days and whether we can self soothe and regulate that inner voice and shrug off disappointments and humiliation depends on our resilience.
For some of us, we find ourselves lambasted by shrill and disparaging narratives, which criticise our past decisions and why they were so wrong. An ungenerous commentary on our moment-to-moment experiences with terms like ‘always’ or ‘never’ or ‘as usual’ can be part of a self-defeating monologue.
At bad times in our key relationships, we snap at those nearest to us – believing they are also echoing those harsh views and opinions that we secretly hold of ourselves.