Of all the difficult emotions we know so well in life, there is one particular rogue which can stalk our relationships like the proverbial bad witch at a wedding, sucking up joy and spreading poison in its wake: Resentment. And like all bad witches, this one has a lot of power to cast bad spells on your wellbeing.
“We never really argue,” my clients will often tell me, puzzled at how imperceptibly yet thoroughly their relationship has unravelled.
Sweeping grievances under the carpet is corrosive and cumulative. It feeds the slow burning fuse – and takes commitment and good will hostage.
London based relationship counsellor, Carole Nyman called resentment “the number one killer of desire in both genders”, when she commented on a recent Marriage Foundation study in Britain of 40,000 couples.
The findings showed that 80 per cent of couples that separated had reported being “generally happy” only one year earlier.