NZ Herald: How to rid your life of fear

I see two clear categories of clients in my practice. Those who come in to discuss how they are feeling, to understand why they feel the way they do. And those who come in reeling from a crisis that has reached a head. Often there’s an association with acute substance abuse, or major interpersonal problems. A recent US study of … Read More

NZ Herald: Why you find your partner so annoying

One minute it seemed your partner could do no wrong, and the next you find yourself gritting your teeth at the way he eats his cornflakes or tells the same jokes or never gets round to doing the things she promises to do. The range of reasons a partner can be annoying is wide and diverse – and typically it … Read More

NZ Herald: Why we care what other people think

The vast majority of conversations I have with my clients, and that’s hundreds of people every year, involve analysis of what other people think of them. Or what other people think about what they, the client, may be poised to do. Whether we’re talking about their desire to leave their partner, have an affair, or the fact they’re facing bankruptcy … Read More

NZ Herald: Madonna caught in teen’s worst nightmare

What has been termed “Madonna’s bitter custody battle” regarding her 15-year-old son, Rocco, sounds like every teenage boy’s worst nightmare. No one ever said these type of conflicts are anything but excruciatingly painful for all caught up in them: Parents, children, siblings, grandparents. The intense emotion typically dissipates over time, but usually creates a lasting and significant impact for the … Read More

NZ Herald: How to manage a break up

It’s that time of the year when the spotlight is on relationships. Valentine’s Day has recently passed, while Leap Years always spark discussion around women proposing marriage. The topic of love lost and found is amplified through the airwaves, television, and the internet. Irish folklore says that one St Brigid of Kildare bitterly complained to St Patrick that women had … Read More

NZ Herald: Why you keep dating the wrong person

Often clients tell me they always seem to choose the same type of partner with similar and disastrous results. Of the many things that can wreak havoc in a relationship, considering the way we attach to those we love can create a focus and get rid of a lot of confusion. Attachment is the glue that keeps us together, as … Read More

NZ Herald: When is ‘a break’ really a break up?

Is there a difference between a break in a relationship and a break up? This is an often asked question in my counselling room, usually by the person who least wants a break. We all know what a “break up” means: it’s over, finished. Often heartbreaking and never easy but clear. A relationship “break”, on the other hand, can mean … Read More