NZ Herald: Madonna caught in teen’s worst nightmare

What has been termed “Madonna’s bitter custody battle” regarding her 15-year-old son, Rocco, sounds like every teenage boy’s worst nightmare. No one ever said these type of conflicts are anything but excruciatingly painful for all caught up in them: Parents, children, siblings, grandparents. The intense emotion typically dissipates over time, but usually creates a lasting and significant impact for the … Read More

NZ Herald: How to manage a break up

It’s that time of the year when the spotlight is on relationships. Valentine’s Day has recently passed, while Leap Years always spark discussion around women proposing marriage. The topic of love lost and found is amplified through the airwaves, television, and the internet. Irish folklore says that one St Brigid of Kildare bitterly complained to St Patrick that women had … Read More

NZ Herald: Why you keep dating the wrong person

Often clients tell me they always seem to choose the same type of partner with similar and disastrous results. Of the many things that can wreak havoc in a relationship, considering the way we attach to those we love can create a focus and get rid of a lot of confusion. Attachment is the glue that keeps us together, as … Read More

NZ Herald: When is ‘a break’ really a break up?

Is there a difference between a break in a relationship and a break up? This is an often asked question in my counselling room, usually by the person who least wants a break. We all know what a “break up” means: it’s over, finished. Often heartbreaking and never easy but clear. A relationship “break”, on the other hand, can mean … Read More

NZ Herald: Why a relationship fails

When clients are seeking understanding about why their relationship appears to be falling apart, one of the signposts can often be what previous generations have termed the “need to give and take”. It’s hardly outdated as a piece of advice, but has recently been elevated into a serious study, and become the subject of a popular book. Adam Grant, academic … Read More

NZ Herald: Why is it so hard to say sorry?

The journey from feeling offended to feeling aggrieved is alarmingly brief if the stakes are high enough. And if the source of grievance is in the family or at work, the proverbial stone in the shoe can become almost impossible to endure. Being told to “move on” or “be the bigger person” just doesn’t cut it and often makes the … Read More

NZ Herald: How to deal with young children using smart devices

Problems in life are relative, as we all know, and worries about how well a child has done in recent exams would be a comparative luxury for some of the parents who come to talk to me about their children. For Susanna getting her teenage son out of his bedroom, let alone to school, last term would have been a … Read More

Radio Live: How Best to get your Kids to ‘Unplug’

A recent UK poll shows parents are struggling to get their kids off their computers, tablets and phones. Counsellor and family mediator Jill Goldson discusses how to get kids off their devices on Radio Live with Tony Murrell.